Former Motherwell first-team performance therapist Callum Davidson will be running the Birmingham half-marathon to raise money for both the Motherwell FC & Wigan Athletic Community Trust.
A lecturer in sports therapy at Birmingham City University, Davidson will be running the Birmingham half-marathon to raise awareness of his own mental health journey whilst giving back to the communities and mental health projects that supported him at both community trusts.
Davidson hopes that the funds raised will support both providing a safe and supportive network to help people understand and tackle their mental health issues.
“I needed to challenge myself both physically and mentally,” Davidson outlined.
“Through my mental health challenges, I simultaneously neglected my physical health, and I knew I had to break the cycle and challenge both aspects of my physical and mental health.
“I wanted to tell my story and raise awareness about the realities of coping with mental health issues. I was incredibly nervous and apprehensive about sharing my story, but I kept reminding myself that hopefully someone might resonate with my experiences and could encourage them to reach out and talk.
“I was keen to try and create a support network, with the aim and hope of helping people realise and understand that they are not alone. We are in this together.”
Callum bravely opened up about his lifelong mental health journey, from an initial 18-year-old navigating life’s challenges and enduring the natural stresses of academia and university to the isolation and pressures of working within full-time football. Working his way through his first full-time role in professional football, Callum joined Hartlepool United as he began his route into the professional game.
Whilst embracing every moment of his early career in football, the intensity of a consistent seven-day working week, isolation due to a tough work-life balance and a limited support network continued to take its toll. Like so many people across the globe, Callum lost his job during the Covid-19 pandemic but soon returned to football with Salford City whilst simultaneously studying for his MSc degree in Strength and Conditioning at the University of Salford.
Amongst the variety of stress-inducing factors of full-time football and higher education, Callum sadly lost his mom to cancer in May 2021. Struggling to open up about his internal struggles, Callum turned to excessive drinking to numb those feelings.
“It was an incredibly difficult time,” Callum added.
“I found myself significantly more emotional, with a noticeable change in my character. I told myself that this was a normal reaction to the emotional trauma I had experienced, but things continued to get progressively worse. I was incredibly embarrassed, scared and conflicted about reaching out for help. I felt guilty, as people have a significantly harder life than what I do, but I could not understand why I felt this way, and how could I expect anyone else to?
“I was soon given a really special opportunity to work within Scottish football at Premiership club Motherwell FC. A lot of my immediate family are from Glasgow, and I have always had a deep connection to my Scottish roots. This opportunity meant a lot to me, being in Scotland, embracing my family heritage and especially joining a club of Motherwell’s stature.
“I felt like I had pulled through and taken back control of my life. I was thoroughly enjoying my job, had completed my MSc and was embracing everything about Scotland – I felt like myself again.
“However, things began to rapidly spiral beyond imagination; I didn’t understand why. Despite loving everything about Scotland and my job, I felt lost, isolated, conflicted and was suffering. After months of battling daily internal conflicts in my head, I turned up every day to work trying to maintain a perception that nothing was wrong. I tried to immerse myself in my work as a distraction, but I was putting up a façade, and I was emotionally exhausted; I had nothing left.
“I could not escape the seemingly never-ending pain and torment. Every day, I felt like I was battling life, and I had nothing left to give. I lost my passion, my drive and my identity. It was made worse, as I did not understand why I felt this way, and I eventually got to the point where I was contemplating taking my own life.”
After months of withholding his emotions, Callum made the brave decision to open up to then Motherwell FC Chief Executive Alan Burrows. A significant moment in his mental health journey.
“The night before I spoke to Alan, I had contemplated taking my own life,” Callum explained.
“After years of pain, internal conflict and suffering, I felt I had nothing left to give. I was physically and emotionally exhausted, and I just wanted it to end, but I was very fortunate to have had a moment of clarity which swamped me. I had never been so low; I was scared.
“I came into work the next day, putting on a façade that became a normality for years – pretending that everything was okay, but after my experience the previous night, I knew something was different. I had a very good relationship with Alan – he is a great guy – and for whatever reason, instead of walking to the physio room that day, my body just took me towards his office. I hadn’t planned to speak to him; I had no idea what I was going to say. The only way I could describe it was like I was stuck on autopilot.
“I knocked on his door; he invited me in, and I sat down and just forced out the words, ‘I need help.’ I was absolutely overwhelmed with eight years’ worth of pain and emotion flooding to the surface. Without hesitation, Alan offered support, and I cannot thank him enough for that. It felt like a significant weight had been lifted, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was going to be okay. I truly believe that conversation saved my life.
“Over the next few months, Alan had arranged for me to speak to a specialist. I was incredibly nervous; I really do not like talking about my emotions, but I knew it was something I had to do. Through talking, I started to understand myself more, and I started to appreciate potential causes and triggers. There was still a significant amount I did not understand; however, I developed a newfound ability to talk to people and open up. This was instrumental to my recovery.
“Despite some personal difficulties, I thoroughly enjoyed my year-and-a-half at the club. The people, the fans and the experiences were incredible, and I will cherish my time at the club for all my days. Motherwell holds a very special place in my heart, and it always will. I am very proud to say that I had the opportunity to work for such a special club; I miss it every day.”
After his time in Scotland, Callum felt that he needed a fresh start. He soon joined English giants Wigan Athletic after making the incredibly difficult decision to leave a place that he called home.
Despite feeling excited and optimistic about the following months, Callum’s mental health issues persisted to a level lower than ever before. Unable to rationalise and understand his feelings, Callum became caught in a vicious cycle of poor mental health.
After his previous experiences, he sought to get control of this feeling quickly, by speaking to Wigan Athletic Club Doctor, Jonathan Tobin.
“Doc was another significant figure in my life, who I am very grateful and thankful for. We discussed things at length, and he offered me support, but for whatever reason; I felt I was spiralling out of control to the point where I had enough.
“I couldn’t see a resolution. I had written a letter, sorted my affairs, and attempted to take my own life. I am extremely fortunate that this attempt failed.
“That day, I called Doc, and we had decided that I needed to control the controllable’s and learn about why I felt the way I did.
“I still face difficult episodes of mental health-related issues; however, I am in a much better place to tackle them. I have found that talking is such a powerful tool. I felt like I wasn’t alone anymore. I am someone who hated the idea of talking about my emotions, and I still find it incredibly difficult now; however, I also recognise how powerful a tool it is.”
The 30-year-old has already raised over £1400 of his initial £1000 target in just nine days for both the Motherwell FC and Wigan Athletic Community Trusts, as he looks to give back to the communities that have supported him through his journey.
“It’s incredibly difficult for people to open up about mental health, particularly men,” Callum said.
“Unfortunately, there still seems to be social stigma against men being able to freely open up. Having said that, society has made some very positive strides to challenge that stigma; there is a significantly greater awareness and understanding regarding mental health compared to several years ago.
“I think football can play an instrumental part in challenging that narrative and promoting greater awareness and support. Football goes beyond what happens on the pitch; football is for everyone in every capacity, player or fan. Football is an escape for people; it provides purpose, memories, and relationships. It’s a sense of community and belonging that gives people hope, commonality and a support network.
“The communities are the heart of these clubs. It truly is a beautiful game that brings people together, with the clubs and their respective Community Trusts being the epitome of this. Both charities engage in fantastic projects to support their communities, particularly surrounding mental health, and their work is instrumental to improving people’s lives.
“I have seen first-hand the amazing work of both trusts and the positive impact their mental health-related projects can have on their local communities. The projects provide a safe and supportive network to help people understand and tackle their mental health issues whilst providing the foundations for a new beginning. Their work is incredibly important.
“The impact both communities had on me can’t be understated, and I wanted to give something back. Therefore, the decision to donate to both the Community Trusts of Motherwell FC and Wigan Athletic was an easy one.”
With just over a month to go until Callum takes to the streets of Birmingham, preparations have continued to ramp up, as he looks to complete his goal next month.
“I am truly overwhelmed by everyone’s kind words, messages and incredible support,” Callum expressed.
“Through sharing the GoFundMe page and my own personal story, it has already sparked some positive conversations with others, and I am extremely grateful for all the donations and generosity so far. I initially started with a target of £1000, but after everyone’s unbelievable support and generous contributions, I realised that we would quickly surpass that goal. I check it every day, so it’s brilliant to see it increasing. I have so much gratitude for the support I have received so far.
“It’s been a challenge, but an enjoyable one. Although I am not sure my body is thanking me for it! I work with athletes to help optimise their performance and recovery from injuries; I think I need to take my own advice sometimes to make the process a little easier. It has been great to have a challenge again; I have missed that competitiveness ever since I stepped away from football. I am just enjoying the process and excited for the day itself.
“There are so many people that I want to thank. A big part of my support network was talking to some of my closest friends, and I cannot thank them enough for all their love and support. My dad has supported me in every way possible; he is the epitome of what a dad should be. His selflessness and endless support are something I cannot thank him enough for. I also want to thank Alan Burrows and Doc Jonathan Tobin. I do not have the words to express my admiration and gratitude for them. They both played a significant part in my recovery and offered unwavering support, and without them, the outcome could have been very different.”
You can read the entirety of Callum’s story or support his efforts at the Birmingham half-marathon by visiting his GoFundMe page HERE.
